When Men gang up on Women in the OB Office

Shawn went with me to my 38 week appointment today.  He came with me last time, too, which is pretty rare.  Most of the time he never comes, because of work, and I have no problem with that.  He was there for conception, he'll be there for the birth, and in between, well, there's not much to see at an appointment.

Unless you have my crackpot OB--then nothing is boring.  It all started at my first appointment with him last August.  He found out I was a BYU alum, and he being a U of U grad, well, that hasn't sat to well with him.  I get Mormon jokes and BYU put downs at every appointment.  They are funny, and I try to fire back, so we have an interesting Doctor/Patient relationship.

At the last appointment, when Shawn walked in, my Doctor turned to me and said:  "So who's the other guy that's been coming to all the appointments with you?"  Har, har, har.

At the end, he also said:  "Next time I'll have to check you, so please, please take a shower!". 

So today when we got in the room, the nurse handed me what was basically a wash cloth and told me to undress.  Shawn, looked at me and said:  "What's THAT for?"  When I explained that it was to cover my nekkedness, he asked me in all seriousness:  "So, did you shower today?"

After the always awkward pelvic exam, during which I had my membranes stripped twice so it freaking better pop this kid out asap, the Doctor asked if we had any questions.  I asked about the induction date, and my OB joked that if I asked one more question, I would lose my epidural.  Then Shawn piped up:  "I want to know if any other patient asks as many questions as my wife?  Is she your most annoying patient?"

Seriously, I've been on this train before and don't ask many questions.  Shawn was referring to my conversation I replayed for him from my appointment the week before.

Me:  "I am SO done!  Can we just schedule an induction today?  Name your price."
OB:  "Sorry, you know you have to be 39 weeks.  You know how you got here...don't blame me!"
Me:  "You're only going to hear complaints from me today...everything hurts...can you give an epidural I can take home?"
OB:  "Boy, I have particularly hormonal women today...there must be a full moon."
Me:  "Well, that's why they pay you the big bucks, to deal with crazy women!  You get to drive your Bentley home to your mansion in Paradise Valley and have your servants help you forget your labors of the day.  I don't feel sorry for you!"

When I told this to Shawn, he was appalled that I had spoken like this to my OB.  I figured if I allow a strange man to put his hand in my nether regions, and I have to pay him to do it,  I can pretty much speak to him any way I see fit.

They ended todays appointment with jokes about women and hormones and crazy stuff while I sat there nekked under a scanty hand towel. 

They can gang up on me all they want.   I got my membranes stripped, which worked in putting me into labor with Cole and Seth, plus an induction date, if it doesn't work.  I got what I wanted, and all they got were some cheap laughs...yup, I'm the winner in that round.  Even if I did have to sit there nekked while they laughed.