My Cake Wrecks worthy Birthday Cake

I took pictures of this beauty before I unwrapped it, because there were 8 grubby hands ready to pounce into that frosting.

 
This story is about a girl who loves white cake, a Mom who tries to do everything, and an eccentric Dad who never fails to entertain.

On my birthday, my parents drove out to stay the weekend with us.  My Mom told me she was bringing my birthday cake.  When they arrived, she told me that there was a doozy of a story to go with this cake.  Originally, I had asked for a German Chocolate Cake.  Little did I know this would throw a baker in Orange, California, into a tizzy fit.  Just an hour before they were set to drive out to my house, my Mom got a phone call from the baker in hysterics saying he couldn’t fit all the words on the cake. “Impossible!!”, he said, “Can’t be done!!!”   My Mom asked:  “You can’t fit ‘Happy Birthday Amber’?”  Of course that would fit, but what he couldn’t fit was: 

Happy 38th Birthday to a Beautiful Mother of 4 Banshees on Crack 

Suddenly in walked my Dad who triumphantly announced:  “I ordered the cake for Amber and it’s going to be GREAT!!!”   Then he told her what the caption was going to be.  When my Mom finally picked her jaw up off the floor, she was able to tell the baker on the phone to just put “Happy Birthday, Amber” on the cake and leave it at that.  My Dad was crushed.  He thought he was being so funny.  And he was!!  Who wouldn’t want a cake that said that?  Talk about a heart felt message!  What’s more, it’s a fact.  My children are off the charts crazy.

You may be wondering how my Dad come up with such a unique caption for a birthday cake?  About a week before this, my Mom had relayed to my Dad a story I had told her about how out of control my kids were, and that they were as crazy as chimpanzees on crack.  My Dad heard that last quip as Banshees on Crack.  And now that I think about it, that would probably be the worst of the two. But appropriately descriptive of Sugar in her tantrum mode.

So this is the cake they brought:
  
A beautiful, moist and delicious German Chocolate cake, full of strange flowers to please my chimpanzees/banshees on crack who insist on these types of things.  It said “Happy Birthday, Amber.”  Accurate, sweet and to the point.   And we all enjoyed that cake…for days on end.

But I wanted the cake my Dad had ordered.  I thought about it, I craved it, and suddenly, I HAD TO HAVE IT.  I went to Costco, ordered a beautiful white cake with pink flowers—one for each of the kids—and waited eagerly for the moment I could pick it up.  Once I got it home, I wouldn’t let anyone touch it for an entire day.  It just sat there in my fridge, providing me with a shelf full of laughter every time I opened the door.  Which was frequent.

That’s true happiness on my face, people.    

If my kids don’t stop acting so wild, they may end up engraving this on my tombstone very, very soon.