It happened again.
At the check out I discovered a coconut, some freaky beef jerky, discounted Valentine’s candy, Pringles and a HUGE disposable turkey roasting pan. And I was paying attention.
The boy has skills, just not in anything that will take him anywhere other than Juvy.
So whenever Cole does his goofy stuff—like climbing into the milk container and then into the refrigerated portion of the store that you can only get to once you’ve gone to the manager and explained what your child has done—there is always the matronly do-gooder nearby, who feels she must be my eyes and ears and conscience because I obviously have not a clue what my child is doing.
Frump-Frau was lingering on the aisle by the frozen pizzas when Cole jumped in the freezer. She heard my NO!!!!, saw me open the freezer, drag him out, and shove his hand in my coat pocket as a makeshift hand-cuff. She saw him wriggle out of that and jump back in. Then she clearly heard him say: “Mom! You never let me do anything fun! Watch—just give me 30 seconds!!” She also watched how I counted rapidly to 30, opened the door and got him out. As we walked past her, she felt the burning need to blurt out: “You need to get control of that boy.” Kiss my grits, frump-frau. Walk a minute in my shoes, then come and beg my forgiveness.
Wouldn’t you know it, we ran into frump-frau two aisles down. Cole pushed the cart as fast as he could, then grabbed on for the ride. I’m sure she heard me yelling: “Stop before you get to the aisle or you’ll hurt someone!!” She just looked at me as if anyone who doesn’t heed her counsel gets what they deserve. I should have kept my lip zipped and let him run into her.
His extra treats piled in the cart? Cost me $21.87…so we took them all out but the turkey pan because he told me it would make such a totally cool boat.
I’m such a sucker for that boy sometimes. Poor Frump-Frau could never understand, and it’s her loss.
You must be a seasoned Mom. I wouldn't have thought to get the camera phone out and then we would've all missed out on the awesome pics. Today I careened through the grocery aisles with Ellis balancing each foot on the top of a milk jug. I just pretended like I couldn't see the disapproving stares from the 10am-2pm elderly crowd that shops then too.
ReplyDeleteThere's got to be a frump-frau in all of our lives. I hate running into people (be it in the grocery store or...gasp!... at a family gathering) who just know that my children would act "appropriately" if given the good fortune to be under their care instead of mine. All of the acting out my kids do is obviously a reflection of my poor parenting.
ReplyDeleteCome on people! Kids come with their own personalities and their own wiring. Some kids are challenging, and the critics must have little to no experience in that area.
Good call on keeping the roaster. I'll want to see some pictures of that boat once it's done.
That freezer shot is going to go great in his wedding montage video one day!!
ReplyDeleteYou should have told frump Frau that when you get the boy home both mommies will have a chat with him about appropriate store behavior. Bam!