The Human Lint Brush

This child of mine, oh my.  Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it only gets my boy Cole into serious predicaments that I am left to clean up after.  The latest and greatest here happened last night.  Cole was hiding from me instead of cleaning.  He found some old glue trap and stepped in it.  I put his foot in the bathtub and peeled off the trap. I told him to use my volcanic rock foot scrubber to scrape off the glue.  10 minutes later I heard screaming.  “MOM!!!  I NEED YOUR HELP!!!” ( I had to take pictures after he was asleep because he refused to have them taken when he was awake.  He doesn’t even want me to put this on my blog, which tells me he is really embarrassed by the entire thing, as opposed to being proud of his misdeeds like he is normally!)

All that shiny stuff is thick, clear glue.  That is lint, fleece material and probably some food stuck to his face.  His feet are covered in whatever he picked up from the carpet.  Better than vacuuming.  I should have made him walk all over the house.  Dang it!

In true Cole fashion, once left to his own devices, he made the disaster even worse.  He decided to walk across the floor and my expensive throw rugs to the trashcan, retrieve the glue trap, and see what would happen if he put the glue on various parts of his body.  An arm, between his toes on the other foot.  Then he scratched his nose, it got on an eyebrow, yikes! it was stuck in his hair, his butt itched.  You get the picture.  It was everywhere.  I scraped him down as best I could without taking off all of his skin.  He washed and rewashed.  He kept muttering:  “I’m such an idiot.  I am the stupidest boy alive.”  Poor guy.  But believe me—this wont stop something like this happening again.  Luckily my Mom discovered the clean up saving grace this morning: Goo Gone!

Happy once more.  He will live another day to take simple childhood messes to Def-con 1 type disasters.

Our bottle is practically empty, and we still have stair banisters, hampers, counters, floors, the entire bathtub, multiple door handles, the remote control and the phone to clean up.  He lost a part of an eyebrow (just like the time he went to sleep with gum behind his ear and he woke up in the middle of the night hysterical because his eye was glued shut and he had sticky stuff all over the place.  We were reading “The Hobbit” and he thought a spider had come and was wrapping him up in the web and was about to eat him!  That was only 4 months ago.)

Go out today and buy the largest bottle of Goo Gone you can find.  It has a million uses.  And if your kid ever plays with a glue trap, or goes to sleep with chewed gum behind their ear, you will be thanking me.